Author: Sarah Lazun ’10
With Halloween soon approaching, we at the square acknowledge that a clever costume is a must and thus have thought of a few unique ideas for our faithful readers to try. Fear not, destitute college students, our list only contains costumes that can be created with objects found in the average Dickinson dorm room. Here’s the breakdown of Halloween 2009’s hottest looks:
Items needed: oversize sunglasses, a loud mouth, too much Petrone
Don those glasses, work that swagger, and finally tell that pretentious girl in your French class that you’d rather listen to Creed on repeat than hear her speak ever again. If you bring someone to tears, just cry along with them and say you’re sorry. Your reputation will rebound in approximately 3 days.
Swine Flu Victim:
Items needed: a bed, comfy clothes, Arrested Development on DVD
Quarantine yourself in bed and watch TV for hours. This is ideal for those afraid of costumed drunkards or general social interaction.
Items needed: Your birthday suit.
Go to parties in the nude and blame it on your full-fledged commitment to sustainability. You should advocate nudity because clothes give off toxins that decay the ozone.
Items needed: A sheet.
Wrap yourself in a sheet and go as a you-flavored burrito. A modern take on the classic wear-a-sheet-and-be-a-ghost phenomenon, the burrito is not only cool but conversational. If anyone asks who you are, proudly say that you are a burrito in honor of the illegal immigration debate.
Items needed: Any sort of medical paraphernalia, an empty Walmart bag.
Carry the items around in the bag and hand them out to people at the party. Warning: You will either be loved or despised and accused of being socialist, so weigh the pros and cons before adopting this costume.
That Guy Who Wears Shorts All Year Long:
Items needed: A pair of shorts
Wear a pair of shorts out on the town and do not show any indication of being cold. This costume only works if you adopt the mindset that everyone thinks you’re totally awesome for never compromising your hardcore image by wearing pants.
Items needed: Bifocals, a frumpy sweater, a rifle (optional).
Revamp last year’s favorite look by celebrating Mrs. Palin’s induction into grandparenthood. Don conservative grandma garb and wield that rifle to protect Baby Palin from Alaskan wildlife, while giving a slight nod to the NRA.
Items needed: A blue button-down shirt, khaki pants, a random item to promote
Forget about all the Michael Jacksons that are bound to be gliding around campus this Halloween and represent an often-overlooked American Hero. Put on your made for TV uniform and YELL EXCITEDLY ABOUT EVERYTHING, you’re sure to be a hit.
Victim Of The Printing Quota/Laundry Quota/Flex Plan/Inflation of Quarry Food Prices/Senior Class Gift Drive/Unavoidable Events That Take Your Money
Items needed: Ramen
Tape Ramen packs to your body and complain that since your declining balance is now going towards printing out chapters you are supposed to read from that way too expensive textbook you didn’t buy and because of it, you don’t have any Dickinson play money left to clean your clothes or buy food. Ramen is now your only way of living.